Thursday, April 2, 2009

Poker Night

I wanted to thank all of those who responded to my first post you are truly first class and I hope this post doesn't scare you off...

What do you get when you combine 6 guys, 3 quick trip pizzas, about 40 beers, and a deck of cards??? That's right: POKER NIGHT.

Yesterday I decided to go meet up with my buddy Jose and his friend Aaron after work and before going to poker night with the guys. We did the usual stuff that you do when you are waiting to drink, we drank and made up games...We did do at least one thing productive, we re-hung a curtain for his wife and rewarded ourselves with you guessed it more beer. The three of us drank and played (rocks) this consists of throwing rocks at random objects and if the other person can't hit the same thing you did then they get a letter (instead of pig or horse we played BEER) and you may have guessed it they have to drink. The most creative shot I came up with it was you throw the rock from behind your back and have to kick it into the fence. When we got bored playing with rocks, we decided to play caps and continued drinking till we headed down the street to Andy's house.

As we entered the house we were greeted warmly by Andy and Andy's fiance Kim, and then quickly retreated into the "Man Cave". The "Man Cave" acts as a garage during the day and a small slice of heaven during poker night. the "Man Cave" is outfitted with a full size fridge for "all sorts of a soda and stuff" a long table, a soccer ball, lawn mower, and later at least one gun. There were six of us that played: Two guys that have not played that much, a guy built like the Governor of CA, Andy, Aaron, Jose and myself. Anyone that plays poker knows there are several things that are inevitably going to happen when playing with people that have never played. 1 they are going to stay in a hand they shouldn't and beat you, 2 they are going turn over what they think is a losing hand pronounce that you win and someone else will notice that actually they are the winner and they newbie takes the chips from you. Overall poker night was fun, which leads me to the stupidest thing i did that day.

My buddy Andy, my new friend Aaron, and misc. others that won't be mentioned to protect them from "wife recourse" all engaged in an act that is in my opinion not a flattering one. They on occasion dip, chew, snuff, spit whatever you wanna call it they put chewing tobacco in their mouth and suck on it and spit the juice into a cup which looks like it has feces and water in it by the time you are done. Now I'm not putting down the use of this product, but if you have ever seen someone do it or do it yourself you have to admit it is disgusting. So after many times of watching others do it I decided that I wanted to try it and what better night than at poker night. So i took a pinch out of the skoal can pulled my bottom lip out and jammed it between my lip and gum. After almost losing my lunch, dinner, and a gallon of beer onto the poker table I was told not to swallow and how to control the dip so that the loose tobacco didn't get into the rest of my mouth...So now I have a pinch of skoal in my lip and my gag produced a nice size loogie mixed with the juice of the tobacco it was time for the next part of the ritual spitting into your very own spit cup. Andy being an experienced although not constant dipper made me a cup: A small clear plastic cup with a paper towel in the bottom. I spit and it slowly slid down the side of the cup just as disgusting as it sounds it looked. Then came the burn....If you read my first post you know I had a bit of a fencing accident where i was stabbed in the mouth with a foil resulting in two cut lips and a cut inside my mouth. Well the saliva mixed with the chew quickly found these openings and if you have felt peroxide on a cut you can imagine how it felt, but being with a group of tough guys I didn't flinch and went about experiencing my first dip. Surprisingly after the burn came the payoff...I felt light headed in a good way though (I can see the appeal) after a few minutes of this cozy feeling, I focused on the taste. The taste was minty not great but not unbearable. I continued to spit, drink, and play poker (basically everything a guy could ask for). After a few more minutes it was time to spit the entire lump of dip into the cup. This was the nastiest and of course the part I enjoyed the most as I scooped it out of my gums with my tongue and spit/drooled/dropped the chew and built up saliva into my cup (and now I didn't do this gracefully). My first chew experience was over as quickly has it began. Overall I would say that my time as a chewer, was not Utopian but it was also surprisingly not horrible. Would I do it again? Most likely not, but maybe. Am glad I tried it and can check it off my list of things to try? Sure why not. Poker night wound down and of course the new guy that had only played once before won. There was one bright side to chew (which I do not advocate using) which I neglected to mention and that is I didn't drink nearly as much when the chew was in my mouth as I would have otherwise.

So to summarize I spent April Fools Day: Playing with rocks, drinking beer, spitting into a cup, playing poker, and hanging out with a motley crew of manly company (what more could a guy wish for). Thank you Andy (and Kim) for being awesome hosts and providing the snuff.

I know this was sort of a gross post but hey, it is what it is and just so you all know I finished this post on the throne while doing manly things....hahahahahahahahahahaha

Until next time...Don't be afraid to do something stupid!


  1. Ehhh, you guys are nuts...I wasn't informed of the rock game...but reading about it sure made my day!

  2. Oh - my - gosh! Andy and I are cracking up over here! Too damn funny! The detail happenings was quite entertaining to read! I would expect nothing less!

    For the record - I do not promote chewing, snuffing, dipping, etc. Frankly I think it's as gross as you described (if not MORE) and no girl wants to make out with a guy after he's had that "snuff" in his mouth! Glad to hear it's not a new trend...

    Picture me typing as Andy sits beside me doing just that...chew in lip, spitting into his clear cup with paper towel - can't help but hear every tongue and slurping noise he makes! one word...YUM...NOT!

    Sorry Kelli for my hubby's bad influence! -Kim